Honestly, I don't how to title this article. You name it.
Disclaimer. This is not a how-to article, a 7-steps-to article or a why article.
It’s a paradox. We became so disconnected, yet we can get in touch easier than ever. We brag about how much we love our lives, about all those things we do that bring value, about how much we travel, about how strong and independent we are, but we've never felt lonelier, emptier, more dependent on others than we feel now.
As I was trying to figure out how did this happen, I realized we love being busy. We glorify busy. We glorify multitasking. Well, Flash New 1s: Napoleon did it before it was cool. Flash News 2: This was around 2 centuries ago. We act as if we're in this competition and our sanity, our foundation as human beings depend on it. But then I thought 'hey, that's no wonder'.
We’ve been taught we are loved for what we do, for what we have, for what we achieve. We are raised believing we are loved conditionally.
But then again, we are social creatures and can't survive outside groups and social situations. So, in order to belong, we must blend in. Do that, do the other, learn that, unlearn the other, feel that, unfeel the other. Conceal. Don’t let them see. Follow the template. Don't breathe. Don't lose a second. Do something.
And then you hear a voice inside your head yelling STOP, you need a break! What are you doing? Wake up!
You lost touch with yourselves, you don’t know what do you like, what are your guilty-pleasures, hobbies, passions, things you would metaphorically die for. You just got swirled in the maze. You feel dizzy.
It might sound weird, but I created a list of activities I noticed we do as a background activity. You know like a Youtube tab open while you work. We go there from time to time to change the music if we got bored. In this list are all the things that connect us. At least, that's what I believe:
- Eating.
- Listening.
While talking with the coworkers, we eat. While we watch something, we eat. While we work, we eat. While we walk towards the other thing that is so important to attend because otherwise, someone will say we don’t care about us, them, the government, the world, climate change.
Who has time to spend eating and enjoying the taste and the texture of the food? Just grab something and move on, there’s a life waiting to be lived out there. Don’t you dare waste time on silly things like pleasure.
Oh, and yeah, we stopped listening to each other. And no, I’m not gonna start talking about oh, how important is active listening, don’t forget to nod while listening to somebody. Oh, you just missed it. Now she will think you’re an asshole. It’s not about that. It’s about the fact that we reduced listening to the range of background activities. Why is listening less important? Why is eating less important? Let’s turn listening into meditation. Let’s just listen.
Okay, you need a break. Focus on this picture for a while. For no reason.
Call me crazy, insane, silly, but what about doing just one thing. Not two, or three. Just one. I feel this will bring us closer to ourselves and to the ones next to us.
Everybody meditates nowadays or more likely finds excuses for why they don’t. But adding another activity just to fill in the minutes in order to call a day productive is not the answer.
I like to call washing the dishes meditation (1) because this way I stopped hating washing dishes and (2) because you actually focus on only one thing. And your mind stops wandering. And you feel a sense of freedom and clarity. Some call it being in the state of flow.
Meditation is not something you do separately from your daily life. It’s not something you have to take time to do and just squeeze in some minutes while you try so hard to not think about anything and get frustrated because you’re actually hungry and think about what to eat for lunch, the boss is pissing you off with deadlines, oh and that dress really looked super nice, but man the movie you watched the other day, how can they act so good, needless to say that the girl at the coffee shop was such a bitch, I mean I asked for a flat white with soy milk and decaf and she gave me almond milk, seriously? you had only one job, honey.
Hey, 10 minutes past already, man meditation is such a waste of time, yet again I couldn’t silence my mind. It’s bullshit, who even manages to do it? I’m just gonna do my job and forget about it. It’s like the second time I’m taking time for this and still no results. I can't even meditate. I can't do anything good in this life. Bullcrap, man.
Dude, wake up. Firstly, have patience and compassion towards your progress. Secondly, you meditate every time you do one thing at once and you focus on that thing and that thing only. You are present there with your body, mind, and spirit.
Let’s make listening great again. And eating. Let’s allow ourselves to enjoy things, to feel pleasure and do that just because we want to and not because we feel like we deserve it because we did something to make us worthy.
Let’s meditate every day and make the conscious decision to step up and own our lives. We deserve everything we have. Let’s love people for who they are, not for what they do. Let’s change the story. Let’s become responsible for what we are, for what we feel and for what we do.
Let’s allow ourselves to just be!
